Doom: The Game: The Movie

Doom in a nutshell
? Doom: The Game: The Movie. Yeah, it’s got some high-up actors, but they just run around and shoot things. Everyone has their shot at being a badass, and most people die. The key difference between the game and the movie is that the cause of the outbreak in the former is, well, demons. The latter is a result of… You know what, I’ll get to that in the synopsis. Kind of a spoiler.

An eight-man team of space marines called the RRTS (Rapid Response Tactical Squad) is preparing to go on leave when they’re called to investigate a Level 5 breach in a research lab on Mars. A little plot beforehand; John “Reaper” Grimm is told by Sarge (Dwayne Johnson) that he should stay behind. Reaper’s sister works on the station they’d be transported to, and they’ve had a bit of a falling out. Reaper being Reaper, he decides to come anyway.

Mission parameters? Eliminate any potential threat, secure the facility, and retrieve all UAC (Union Aerospace Corporation) property. They travel through this gooey portal system called the Ark, and begin to explore the facility. They quickly locate the scientist who made the call, Carmack, and find that he’s so deranged that he tears his own ear off. They store him in the medical area and begin to search the facility. During a sewer run, Goat, the religious marine, is maimed by a grody looking Imp creature and stabbed in the neck with a tongue.

DoomBy the time they get him to the medical area, Carmack has vanished, and Reaper has discussed some research business with his sister, Dr. Samantha Grimm. Apparently, the dig site on Mars yielded the skeleton of a human with 24 chromosomes, and that the creatures that attacked the squad were actually human. Well, once. They were altered by that very chromosome. Apparently, this Martian genetic twister can either grant the infected individual superhuman abilities (enhanced physical regeneration and strength), or it can turn them into a twisted monster. This all depends on their capacity for evil, which is determined on a genetic level by the Martian chromosome.

Mac, Destroyer, and Portman, three mostly irrelevant squad members, are slaughtered by Imps, leaving Sarge, The Kid, Duke, Reaper, and Samantha Grimm. Shit hits the fan when a Hell Knight (huge freakin mutant) breaks through the Ark defenses and teleports to Earth. Sarge starts to go a little power crazy when The Kid locates a group of uninfected survivors, ordering their execution. The Kid winds up executed because of his refusal to kill innocent civilians. Zombies take out Duke, kidnap Sarge, and cause Reaper to take a bullet to the gut. In order to save him, Samantha injects him with chromosome 24.

DoomSpoilers end here! Shit gets REAL after this point. They even go to a 1st person shooter mode as a tribute to the Doom games. It’s hilariously overdone and visceral-violent; likely the most enjoyable sequence of scenes in the movie. I mean, let’s face it. Who’s gonna watch Doom for an in-depth, complicated plot? Who would complain about violence in such a movie? You know what you came for, so enjoy it to its fullest, damnit. Overall, a mediocre movie, but still worth its weight in ground up innards.

Joshua Tyler of CinemaBlend’s review actually gave me a hearty laugh. Absolutely correct is the claim that if it weren’t an epic cinematic reproduction of the 90’s game of the same title, it would be a steaming pile of plotless, ultraviolent shit. That’s accurate to the point of being hilarious. Yes, Doom is a terrible movie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try playing Doom and watching it at the same time. Am I right? Anyway, here’s the link to the review: